The first wedding anniversary is approaching. The bells rung last year on October 23. After a year of marriage, I don’t know Blondie any better. We’ll never begin to know each other. I don’t mean this in a cheesy way, i.e., sigh, we’re going to keep discovering each other for the rest of our lives. What I mean is there is no “each other”–no fixed “him” and no fixed “me.” The whole principle of our being together is NOT to get to know each other, not to nail each other down Myers-Briggs-style. I’ve never really thought of him as a person. By that I mean that he’s not an object outside of myself that I can criticize, label, or, most abhorrently, "get to know." I think, for a union like this, you actually have to be unified–to the point where there is no separation in your mind between you and the other.
"I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together."
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Blondie sent me a Facebook message with a link to a new Coldplay song, "Paradise." Coldplay will release their album the day after our first wedding anniversary–as kind of a gift.
While the song played, I perused our Facebook message thread. We have sent about nine Facebook messages to each other as a married couple, so it didn't take me long to get to one written on September 14, 2010 during the wedding planning process:
"isle runner lindor choc and quotes
posters with arrows
Blondie skimmed the list with a dumbfounded look. I reminded him of that day we explored our wedding venue, and he took notes on his phone. These were our brilliant ideas.
I'm really glad that "cupcakes" and "water" were the only ideas in this list that made it to the finals.
It'll all work out.