Sunday, March 3, 2013


It's Blondie's birthday, and we won't see each other till late this afternoon. In private celebration I took down one of my old journals from the bookcase in my closet and read the entry from his birthday, the first one we celebrated together. Here's the quick recap I wrote then, with some additions from today (fake names and present-day comments in brackets): 
Run to school to wish Blondie a happy birthday in my Chinese outfit. Mrs. Gris and everyone just absolutely adores him in his band uniform. He’s in the computer lab during my English class, and I write a note that I bring to the lab. He pretends like he needs to leave class and visits me which is perfect because I wanted to see him again before he left for show choir. He gave me a note with quotes from Equilibrium. I’m afraid I’m using all my adrenaline today [oh my gosh, this is back when I believed I had only so much excited energy to spend for the day, see Weird Beliefs] without him getting to see, especially during band when Dev, Tory, and I play cards, water bottle game, and Truth with the group [so much of high school was just sitting around playing games]. Later, Dad cracks up over my high-strung announcement, “I’m trying NOT to get relaxed!” In the living room is my big black box with the armadillo! [taxidermied armadillo I was giving him on a crazy whim] His mom insists on bringing it to the restaurant tonight. I ask, “Do you really know what it is exactly?” I feel relieved when I talk to her and his sister. They say, “Our family loves playing practical jokes, giving weird presents.” She changes the reservation to 10 for the armadillo. We go to Sam’s Club with his mom, and I flip out over his Bri*ish accent–“kitty cat.” I note that he looks 20 years old. At dinner hour, Dad drives us to Carraba’s, dissenting our discussion. The restaurant is freezing. Great reception for Arnie/Annie—gender unknown. Blondie and I end the night at my house.

I had a section in my old daily journal for feelings of the day, and I wrote, “excited, rushed adrenaline, wasting fire, dependent on Blondie, warm, open, inspired, set on long-term, fire roaring and paralyzing.” Oh, high school. 

Now he's part of the fam. Christmas Eve, 2012. 
"Who says we have cold hearts
Acting out our old parts"

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